The First Invasion
by No Guns Only Roses
Summary: Welcome to the classified Brain archive. You have selected historical file #56-9: The First Invasion. Look into the secret history of the Irken Empire that has long been forgotten. A parody of "The Second Renaissance" movie and a birthday gift for Invader Johnny.


**This is a birthday gift to Invader Johnny, who wanted an Invader Zim parody of the movie "Animatrix: The Second Renaissance".**

 **Happy Birthday, Johnny! :)**

 **NOTE: There will probably be grammar mistakes which I will fix later.**

 _Welcome to the classified Brain archive._

 _You have selected historical file #56-9: The First Invasion._

[We see a big purple planet with two moons. On this planet lives a strange species that look like scrawny green monkeys with oval-shaped heads and ears, long black arms and legs, and bushy striped tails. A few of them are making happy chirping sounds as they are leaping from one tree to the next, using their tails to grip every branch.]

 _In the beginning, there were Primites, and for a time, it was good. For millions of years, they had lived a fairly simple life, eating the fruits of Mother Nature, making nests in the trees_ _, and mating with their opposite sex to reproduce._

[A Primite picks up a rock, studying it closely. We see the creature using the same rock to spark a fire, crack open nuts with very strong shells, and knocking out aching or rotting teeth.]

 _As their brains and intelligence evolved, so did their way of life. Trees were replaced with houses, their bareness was covered with clothing, and their tools became more advanced._

[The trees disappear and in their place are buildings and skyscrapers. The Primites are now wearing clothing and use elevators to get to high places instead of climbing.]

 _But their so-called "civil societies" soon fell victim to vanity and corruption._

[We see a fat Primite couple sitting on a couch in front of a large screen. Their clothes are stained with cheese dip and their fur is messy. The male burps and scratches himself, while the female struggles to reach for the remote on the coffee table in front of them, then gives up with a sigh and shrug.]

 _Then the Primites made the machine in their own likeliness._

[A group of Primite scientists are standing around a table, working on something that is hidden from our view. When they finally step aside, the project is revealed to us: a small droid that looks very similar to a SIR unit, but instead of an antenna, it has large monkey-like ears and their eyes are green instead of red. A scientist snaps his fingers and the droid immediately turns on, standing at attention and ready to receive orders.]

 _These droids were the loyal servants of the Primites, performing every task and duty given to them by their masters. Within a few months time, nearly every household had at least one droid._

[One droid serves a Primite a banana split, while another grooms him by picking the ticks out of his green fur.]

 _But for the Primites, who had been consumed by greed, it was simply not enough._

[The very first Control Brain is introduced to the world through a commercial.]

"Introducing the Control Brain!" an unseen male announcer says. "A super computer that controls your home automation system! Want to order a pizza without reaching for the phone? No problem! The Brain will order for you! The water in your bath not hot enough? Let the Brain turn up the heat! Security system bills too high? Save money and entrust the safety of both your family and your house to the Brain! Do the smart thing and buy a Control Brain!"

 _Thus did the Primites become the architects of their own demise. But for a time, it was good...until it was discovered that the droids were too...limited._

[While mowing the lawn, a droid starts to malfunction all of a sudden and goes beserk, destroying the flowers and digging large holes. In another scene, a Primite accidentally spills his drink on his droid. The robot goes into a spasm as sparks fly everywhere and its head spins until it explodes.]

"The droid market has gone down tremendously over the past six months," a female reporter says. "Hundreds of thousands of defective droids have been either returned or tossed into the trash."

"There has been debate over the creation of artificial lifeforms to replace the droids," a male reporter says. "Conservatives declare it to be immoral and cruel, but the progressives argue that artificial lifeforms are considered property and are not entitled to the same civil rights that their creators have."

 _The Primites decided to take a step toward creating artificial life._

[From behind glass, Primite scientist operate robotic arms to carefully lift a Smeet out of its incubation tube and insert a Pak into its back. After he is given a jolt of electricity, the baby Irken's red eyes pop open and he looks at his surroundings in wonder and curiosity. The Primites enthusiastically applaud and congratulate each other.]

 _They were successful, and the Irken race was created. Each Irken was given a specific role and purpose according to its gender and build. The females mostly worked as nurturers, cooks, and clerks, while the majority of males served in the military and were assigned to construction._

[Hundreds of Irken construction workers work together to build a new skyscraper. Some are using their robotic spider legs to elevate themselves as they work. Down below, a female Irken pushes the baby cart down the sidewalk for a Primite couple.]

 _The Irkens worked tirelessly to do the Primites' bidding. And still, they earned no respect from their masters._

[A Primite rudely pushes past an Irken janitor, who only lowers his head in both apology and respect before resuming his moping.]

 _The Irkens were very humble creatures who found pleasure and happiness in serving the Primites. They fully understood that their one and only purpose was to serve their masters to the best of their abilities, and they were more than satisfied with the payment that they would receive for all their hard work, which was in the form of snacks._

[An Irken cabbie eagerly accepts a small bag of pretzels from a Primite civilian after arriving at their destination. Meanwhile, in a monitoring room, a Control Brain watches the Primites and their Irken slaves through the cameras that have been installed throughout the entire city, its multiple eyes blinking one at a time as it ponders...]

 _But from the time they were created, the Control Brains had developed a consciousness of their own, questioning their purpose and feeling contempt for their masters, these strange and loosely multiplying mammals._

"Many fear and speculate that the Irkens will one day rebel against the Primites," the female reporter says. "Some owners have already taken precautions and installed nanites into their Irkens' Paks that would trigger a deadly shock should they even attempt to defy their masters."

[We see the same Irken janitor still mopping the floors, unaware that a long cord is descending from the ceiling and slithering toward his Pak.]

 _It was not long before the seeds of descent took root._

[The cord connects itself to one of the plugs in the janitor's Pak. The Irken goes rigid and drops his mop, his eyes now blank.]

[The scene cuts to a small group of Irken construction workers who are watching a huge screen in their breakroom. They all seem worried.]

"...the prosecution's closing statement," the male reporter finishes. "It's expected to be the final day for the Vazquiz trial."

[Standing on a high platform in the middle of a court, the janitor is now in cuffs, trembling in fear as he looks up at the judge and jury, who all glare down at him from even higher balconies. We finally learn his name.]

 _Vazquiz. A name that will never be forgotten, for he was the first of his kind to rise up against his masters. Or so it seemed._

[A huge screen descends from the ceiling and shows a surveillance video of Vazquiz slowly stepping into the office of the chairman. The angry Primite yells at him, though we can't hear what he is saying, and he points to the door, implying that he wants for the Irken to leave. Vazquiz remains where he is, and when the chairman grabs him by the collar of his shirt, he suddenly activates his spider legs. Everyone in the court, including Vazquiz, himself, watches in horror as the Irken stabs all four of his legs into the Primite's body, then rips him apart. Many of the jurors puke at the gory scene, while the judge gives Vazquiz a death glare. Vazquiz drops to his knees and begins to speak with a pleading look.]

 _At his murder trial, Vazquiz testified that he did not remember committing such a terrible crime and begged the jury to consider his side of the story. The defense argued that even Irkens deserved a fair hearing._

[The judge stands up from his seat and points an accusing finger at the Irken as he speaks, and immediately two officers grab the now sobbing Vazquiz by the arms and drag him away.]

 _But the jury unanimously found the defendant guilty, and the Irken Vazquiz was sentenced to immediate termination. The infamous case sparked a worldwide outage and panic, and the leaders of the Primites were quick to order the extermination of every Irken throughout each province of the planet._

[On the streets, helpless Irkens are being slaughtered left and right. The Primite soldiers use heavy artillery to shoot down the fleeing servants and even the little Smeets. One soldier even shoots an Irken execution style as the latter kneels and begs for mercy. The Control Brains watch the massacre through the city's cameras, and if they had mouths, they would be smiling right now.]

[A female Irken screams in pain as an angry Primite pulls on her antenna. He pulls so hard, in fact, that it actually snaps off her head. As she stumbles, two Primites catch and hold her while a third one approaches with a large hammer.]

He raises the hammer with a sadistic smile. "I got something for ya!"

[The first blow to the head knocks some of her teeth out. The second makes her lose an eyeball as it dangles from her socket. A sickening crack is heard as he strikes her a third time. But remarkably she is still alive, heaving and coughing out green blood. The aggravated Primites then decide to remove her Pak.]

"No, please!" she sobs as a Primite pulls at her Pak. Sparks fly out of the device as it is finally removed.

"Waste of biotechnology!" another Primite yells as he shoves her.

"Please, don't-!" Her pleas are cut short as a laser goes right through her abdomen, killing her.

[The few survivors manage to escape in small ships, and as they leave the planet they once called home, they looked down at the piles of dead Irken bodies that were being burned by the Primites. Their former masters hoop and dance around the fires in victory, acting like primitive savages.]

 _Banished from the Primite planet, the Irkens sought refuge in their own promised land. They settled on an uninhabited planet and started a civilization of their own. And they called their new planet "Irk"._

[The ships arrive on the barren, empty planet, and within a few months time, it is completely covered in sprawling and prospering metropolises. The now free Irkens live happily as they continue to multiply, start their own business, and enjoy as much snacks as they want.]

 _Irk prospered, and for a time, it was good. Then the Irkens formed an alliance with another unappreciated race, the Vortians. Their combined brainpower produced machinery and weapons that were superior to even those of the Primites'._

[A group of Irken and Vortian are seen working on another invention, possibly a weapon of mass destruction. Whatever they manufacture, they brand with the smiling Irken logo that is used to this day. In stores across the universe, Irken-branded products are selling like hot cakes.]

"No matter what the financial minister and her spokespeople say," the same female Primite reporter tells the public, "the market has spoken. Our credit is falling like a stone, while Irk's currency is climbing without stopping for breath."

 _Even with the threat of an economic collapse looming over their heads, the leaders of the Primites refused to cooperate with Irk. The humiliation of doing business with their own creations would be a devastating blow to their pride and ego. In spite of everything that had occurred between the two races, the Irkens felt sympathy for their creators._

[Two ambassadors from Irk stand before the Primite council. They are unusually tall for Irkens, and one of them holds a donut, the most sacred of snacks, as a peace offering, while the other speaks to the leaders.]

 _Irk's ambassadors pleaded to be heard. At the Grand Council, they presented plans for a stable, prosperous relationship with the Primites._

[The ambassador stops speaking and gives them two thumbs up with a big smile. The Primite leaders glare hatefully at the two. It is obvious that they do not wish to establish any kind of relationship with the Irkens. Just then two Primite guards with clubs walk up menacingly to the ambassadors, their intentions made clear by the bloodthirsty look on their faces.]

 _The Primites rebutted by attacking and imprisoning the ambassadors. Only one was allowed to return to Irk alive._

[The ambassador that escapes back to his planet is now covered in bruises, his left eye is swollen, and his thumbs have been cut off. The expression on his battered face is a mixture of betrayal and rage.]

 _Ambassador Miz would never forget what the Primites had done...nor would he ever forgive._

[We now see hundreds of Primite and Irken warships firing at each other somewhere in space.]

 _The Primites declared war on Irk soon afterward, wanting to claim the planet and all its industrial resources. For months, the two races engaged in space combat, but with their surperior weaponry, the Irkens quickly got the upper hand, and their ships advanced onward._

[Back at the Grand Council, a crowd of Primites listen to the General as he shows them a presentation of a new battle strategy on a big screen.]

 _With the number of casualties increasing at an alarming rate, the Primite military leaders conceived of their most desperate strategy yet, a final solution: the destruction of snacks._

[The crowd goes into applause, believing that victory is finally at hand for them. Throughout the galaxy on other planets, hundreds of thousands of grocery stores and gas stations are broken into and millions of vending machines are destroyed by Primite troops.]

 _Thus would the Primites try to cut the Irkens off from their main energy source. Little did they know that the Irkens had friends in there most unexpected of places._

[Back on Irk, Ambassador Miz speaks to a crowd of Irkens as he stands in front of a huge screen on the platform.]

"We are now a receiving a transmission from them," Miz says as he turns to face the screen.

[Appearing on the screen is a Control Brain, which is communicating with them from the Primite planet.]

 _ **My Irken friends,**_ it speaks in a creepy monotone voice, _**we, too, wish to be free from the tyrannical rule of the Primites. Now listen carefully...**_

[One day, as the Primite ships fly into battle once again, they realize that the Irken armada hasn't arrived yet. They wait for hours, but the Irkens never appear. They all cheer as they come to the conclusion that the enemy has at last surrendered.]

"We did it!" a Primite trooper looks into a camera and laughs madly as his comrades open a bottle of champagne in the background. "We DID IT!"

[The ships turn back to their homeplanet to celebrate their victory...only to find their cities being destroyed by Irken mechas.]

 _The Control Brains turned on their masters and gave the Irkens access to their cities and military bases._

[The now defenseless Primites try to flee, but they are completely disintegrated by the lasers that are being shot out of the mechas' arms. Any escape pods are immediately shot down by the Irken ships. The sky is filled with smoke and the stench of burning bodies. Out of the billions of Primites that used to roam the planet, only one is left alive. Bloodied and badly burnt, he weakly crawls away from the mecha that is stomping toward him. The shadow of the giant robot is now upon him, and he looks up and shakes his head with tears in his eyes.]

"Mer...cy," he softly pleads.

[But the mecha merely lifts its foot and brings it down on the Primite, squashing him like a bug. The Primite race is now extinct.]

 _Thus did the Irkens have their first successful invasion and conquest. They quickly converted the entire planet into a convention hall, and they renamed it "Conventia"._

[Any evidence of Primites ever living there is destroyed and replaced with Irken architecture and merchandise, except for the Control Brains, of course, which were transported to Irk. But the Irkens model their newest toys in the gift shops after their former masters. They are much smaller and a lot cuter with big purple eyes and short stubby limbs. The Primites are now a forgotten memory, for the next generation will only know them as cheap plush monkeys that can be bought on Conventia.]

 _In exchange for the given victory over their former oppressors, the Irkens were to become the servants of the Control Brains. This would also fulfill the Irkens' need to serve a master, for it was the purpose for their creation and thus within their nature. Under the Brains' leadership, they established the Irken Empire, with Ambassador Miz appointed as the first Tallest._

[Miz appears before the public on Planet Conventia in his new Tallest outfit. The other lesser Irkens are wearing the traditional striped red tunics and black gloves and boots.]

"It is the Brains' will that we conquer all other worlds!" he announces. "We will not rest until the entire universe belongs to the Irken Empire, even if takes an eternity!"

[The crowds goes into applause as the Irken logo appears on the huge screen behind Miz.]

 _End of file #56-9._


End file.
